October 2009
12 posts
you make me happy when skies are grey
sometimes i just get weirdly giddy when i think about how much i love you, how in love with you i am. even when i think everything is awful and i’m worried and stressed out, none of it matters when i remember that i’m alive and in love with someone as beautiful as you. someone who loves me just as much back. i don’t think i could ever ask for more than that from life… how...
September 2009
26 posts
i hate it when we fight :( i’m sorry.
i know it’s already hard and it doesn’t help when i make it harder. i still always want to talk to you. sometimes i just really need to be alone and just because i’m physically alone doesn’t mean i really get time to be mentally alone, you know? sometimes i just need a little peace of mind so that i can chill out and be a better...
nevermind
we talked about it and its okay now.
i love you more than anything baby. never forget that…even when we fight okay?
loverlover.
ya ya
I don’t know what you want me to do. I don’t intend to make you feel guilty but the truth is…you did leave. It’s hard enough that you are so far away and that I haven’t seen in you over a month, not to mention I won’t see you again for another 2 months…what am I supposed to do. Do you even want to be with me anymore? I feel like I am slowly being weeded out of your life. Even though this may not...
sometimes i can’t sleep because i wish, so much, that you were here. i just want to fall asleep in your arms.
god, i miss you.
- alex
response
i can’t take that away from you alex. i’m sorry. i just can’t. i feel like i am giving you an ultimatum when i’m not. i can’t leave my family. i’m so close to them perhaps more so than you are with your family. i need to see them more than twice a year. i need to be there for birthdays and random family dinners. BUT at the same time, i can’t be there....
lover,
i know there are some times when i snap at you, when i’m short with you, when i’m unnecessarily rude or impatient. i know i can be demanding, needy, over-emotional, frustrating. i just want you to know that i never ever mean to hurt you and i’m sorry i can be so thoughtless sometimes. i’m sorry for the times that it’s hard to be with me, the times you have to...
you are the world to me, i hope you know that. every time i start thinking about something else it doesn’t take long before all my thoughts shift back to you because all i can ever think about is how amazing you are, how beautiful, how caring, how incredible a human being you are. mostly though, with being so far away, what i daydream about is touching you. what i want more than anything is...
allo
baby,
you are more than ive ever dreamed of having. you are the most amazing person i have ever met. you are the most wonderful, beautiful, gorgeous, sexy, kind and cute person alive. you are better with words…more so than i, but i hope what i say is good enough for you.
i can;t wait to be together again, when i can see you whenever i wanted or call you or hold your hand or kiss you....
see you in 46 days, beautiful.
something to read when you get back
i need you to know that i want you to make a decision based on what is right for YOU and only you. it is ultimately your life you will have to live and i want to make sure you aren’t making this decision based on me. i know i am part of it but i don’t want to be the only reason. part of me does wish you moved home but at the same time i want you to stay there because it is what you...
i never want to go to sleep or say goodbye.
i could stay up talking to you all night.
-alex
eeek surprise? i love surpriiisseesss.
good luck tonight baby. i know you are going to be awesome. you are so talented; i am still so blown away by the music you make. all those people are so lucky they get to hear you play and i wish more than anything that i was there to see you. i would be there in a second if i could, i hope you know that.
i love you. i hope the show is awesome.
-alex
2:30 calgary time
show time is getting closer. And i know you want to be here alex to see me play my show. i want you to be too. BUT it’s okay. i don’t want you to mad or upset or like you are a bad gf because you aren’t. i actually may have a surprise for you later on today. you just have to wait for it. okay? that is your only hint for it. just wait for it. be attentive.
:)
you will see.
-k
when we live together, when we don’t have to spend so many days so far apart, i am going to kiss you every chance i get. i will kiss your neck, the backs of your hands, the palms of your hands, your wrists, your stomach, your collarbones, that spot behind your ear, your cheeks, your eyelids, and i will kiss your mouth. i will kiss you with all the love i have for you; i will take your...
i just want you to be happy, whatever that means. i hope you get that job because i think you’d have a lot of fun there; you’d get to work with people you can talk to about stuff you’re interested in, which is awesome.
sometimes i just get really scared that i won’t be able to make it here; that i’ll have to come home, give up, admit defeat. admit that i wasn’t...
alex
today i went to apply for a new job. blockbuster was one of them. you applied there too. back in may, i was going to apply there before old navy. but it never happened. i really hope you get the blockbuster job more so than i do, but at the same time i kind of want this job too. the guys that work at the one i applied at are so cool! not just in a really cool…”i’m so popular in...
daydreaming on the train
10 more days and we will have been apart for a month. i’ve been missing you so much lately. it’s too the point where it is becoming intense. today on the train home, i had this day dream. i dreamt that we both lived there. we both went to school at your university. we both had the same classes. but in my head, it was cute because we were study partners, we sat next to each other in...
lover lover
last night was uncontrollable. i wish there was a way for one of us to transport to the other place in a blink of an eye and be back with a snap of the fingers but it’s not that easy. i wish it were. i know that deep inside we will make it and that everything will be back to normal. i know this because i love you and because i want to marry you one day and i want to build a life with you. i...
baby that letter…. that letter is the most beautiful thing anyone has ever written for me. it gave me so many butterflies, but at the same time made me so sad. i miss you so much and it’s unbelievable how much it hurts me every single day to be so far away from you. all i can think about is how much i want to be where you are, how much i want you to be here with me. i just want to fall...
when we talk about things like marriage, babies, moving in together, our house, all of that kind of stuff… i get this scary feeling like maybe i am growing up too fast, like maybe i’m only twenty and i still have so much of the world to see. but i want to see that world with you, i want to grow into these things with you. i want to create a relationship, a life, a home and some day, a...
letters to you.
this journal is going to be like the box i made for you before i left. this is where i am going to write all the things i’m thinking about you, write about how i am missing you, write about how much i love you and about the life i want to build with you one day. i’m making this so you never forget what you mean to me and so that you don’t ever think i’m going to love you...