last night was uncontrollable. i wish there was a way for one of us to transport to the other place in a blink of an eye and be back with a snap of the fingers but it’s not that easy. i wish it were. i know that deep inside we will make it and that everything will be back to normal. i know this because i love you and because i want to marry you one day and i want to build a life with you. i don’t feel this often so i am not going to through it away. i want to try to be there as fast as i can but also at the right time to find a place to live. 

i love you so much and it pains me to see you cry. i was a baby lastnight but sometimes i need to let it out after i’ve held it in for a while trying to be okay. And please don’t think this is your fault because nothing is your fault. you followed a dream you have had all your life. there’s nothing more that i want than for your to follow your dreams and be happy with your life. i will be there follow it will just take a little longer for me to get there. BUT i WILL get there. i NEED to be with you, be around you, fall asleep next to you, wake up next to you, laugh with you, smile with you, hug you, kiss you…..i need you. And nothing will stop that. 

after this class, i will be there. i have the chance to finally move there and be with you. it IS a huge change for me but it was for you too and everyone has to start their life somewhere. where you are, in victoria, is where i want to start my life….with you. perhaps i will be away from home but i will only grow as a person and learn to be more independent. but most of all…i will be with you and that is the only comfort i need because i know you will never let me go in the shitter with anything and i would never let you either. 

i love you so much baby. more than you will ever know. you are the reason i want to work when i have to work…or to get up in the morning when i just want to sleep all day. i do these things because i know that it will make my day go faster and i can get more done, but more importantly….i know that by the end of the day when i fall asleep, i know that i will be one more day closer to being there with you. 

i know in the end that being this far apart (physically) from you will only make us stronger when we are together. if we can get through this, we can get through anything and i know we will. there’s no other option for me. you are everything to me baby. there’s nothing more i want than to be there with you…..(and maybe write my comic haha) and if it meant that i need to wait until april to actually get there, then i will do it….just as long as you will be there when i arrive….and i know you will be. 

i love you so much sweets. it’s crazy just how much you affect me. how much you mean to me…how much i think of you in my regular day and when i sleep. AND don’t EVER think that i deserve better. NO ONE can make me feel the way you do and i assure you that, that is rare. you’re the only one for me, the only one on my mind, the only girl i see in my eyes and in my heart. 

you are my everything. don’t forget that…..ever. okay?

love,
k