maybe things got out of hand. maybe i am not the greatest girlfriend ever. maybe we don’t have the same beliefs. maybe sometimes our tempers’ get the best of us. it happens. 

there’s nothing i can say that will defend me in any way and perhaps change your mind on things. its a thing i have where i fuck up. i always do. i didn’t mean to “manipulate” you, though it may seem that i had tried. it was not my intention. i just want to make sure you saw what you wanted to happen. that is all. i dont agree with it. but it makes you happy. and ultimately you in my life makes me happy. 

i want to take back the last 2 days and handle it better than i had. i handled it in the most shittiest way possible and i want to do those days over again. you mean so much to me alex. i never wanted to disrespect you. i just felt attacked and so i defended myself. perhaps not in the smartest way possible but i just reacted on impulse.

you are entitled to your beliefs and opinions and as am i. i want to take back what i said because you are right, it’s not my place to decide what you can or can’t do your body and your life. that is your choice and your choice only. 

i suck at this and i can only hope you can give me another chance because everything i said about loving you and wanting you in my life and wanting to marry you and have a kid with you is all true. i meant every word. to tell you the truth, i really can’t see myself without you. i feel like i just lost a huge part of me in the past hour and i haven’t felt this shitty and depressed in a long time. 

whatever you decide i will support you. and i will always love you. i miss you soooo much and i really am excited for you to be here. i hope i still get to be apart of it. 

i love you always sweets. you are my sunshine.