i just spent the last hour crying so hard that i started hyperventilate. i need you back. i want you back. fall in love with me again. pls baby. i have never felt SO broken in my life. worse than it was with alisha. i can’t handle this, i can’t handle knowing that you feel nothing for me now, that you once used to be in love with me. i want that all back and it can happen. just try. long distance is hard and both of us have to work on things. it can happen we just have to work at it. its harder now because of the distance but if we both work at this, it can work. you are my everything still and i feel SO shatter inside that you don’t feel the same way. my chest gets tight just thinking about it and you because the girl i loved the most is in arms reach and i can’t get grab at you. it takes work to make a long distance relationship work alex, everyone knows that. we can do it. i will work on things to make it better and you can too. i am willing to move there after i am finished with sait if you just try with me. make this work again. it’s worth it.

you are worth to me…am i worth it too you?

i know i made a mistake in the past but everyone does. i wouldnt be human if i didn’t. i have never felt so horrible about myself about what happened and i will never forgive myself for letting it happen. i want to do anything and everything to fix it alex. i need you in my life in a more than friends way. i am so in love with you. i need you, i want you. we can make it work. i will work on things to make it better. i will do whatever it takes. it WILL be better. you just have to take a chance.

i love you so much. i can’t even believe how much i love you. and now that you are gone, it feels like a bomb went off inside of me and killed everything that feels. i feel lost and broken and i feel like am the most horrible person alive. pls don’t tell me that you are not right for me or that i will find someone better. i HAVE found that person. that person is you. you were unexpected, just came out of nowwhere and blew me off my feet. you don’t get that a lot, sometimes not at all. i can’t lose it. and i know somewhere inside of you that you feel the same way too. pls don’t run from it. theres no way you can fall out of love with someone within a week.

i want you back alex. the way it used to be. it can work. all you have to do is try. i just…i love you so much. i can’t imagine my life without you. i know you don’t want to do that marriage and kids stuff. and we don’t have too. if it means that i can and will be with you, then i will do it. you just mean to much to me that i can’t live without you. please alex. if i was worth it to you…you’d at least think it over…i’d do anything for you. i will move there, i will climb a mountain and scream my love for you if thats what it would take. it can’tbe over yet. it just can’t be. its hard to believe that a strong love that lasted a good chunk of long distance went to the shitter within a week. it just can’t be true.

i love you alex. im IN love with you. i need you. i want you. pls don’t turn away from this. pls don’t run. i’m right here.